The Bigger Person

I am not a petty person, most times I rise above it and let it go. Or maybe, just maybe, I do not have the energy to act and drag out issues. I just want to be done with it and move on to the next thing on my list.

So now, let’s talk about the little voice in my head that has not evolved. It’s vindictive and sends out evil signals to help me deal with annoying and condescending people or people that hurt my feelings.

Sometimes I indulge the evil little voice in my head and entertain the idea of having magical powers that could unleash some spice into these people’s lives.

Here’s my top list of possible ideas I wish I had the power to do, some may come off as childish, but hey, don’t judge these have helped me a great deal 😂:

1. Any phone they have can’t charge past 10%😈

2. They think out loud about everything.

3. Every time they use the bathroom 🚽 at someone’s house, it gets clogged.

4. Always get up from their computer, forgetting they still have their headphones on.

5. Permanent little stones in any pair of shoes they wear and never find them.

6. Every time they speak ill of someone, they uncontrollably confess a deeply embarrassing secret about themselves. 😈

7. Anytime they unlock their phone it locks itself for 10 minutes.

8. The constant need to sneeze but never being able to.

9. Never find their keys when they are running late.

10. Every time a car drives through the rain it splashes them and wet their weave or clothes.

11. Every time they just finish washing dishes, 10 more dirty plates appear in the sink.

12. Every time they eat, they spill food on their clothes.

I know this is diabolical but just one day I wish these could happen to some of the annoying people I have come across. Like that boss who calls very late in the night when it can wait till the following day, or that one person that jumps the waakye queue at my favorite joint, or those politicians that keep increasing our taxes 😡.

But the thing is, everyone is bad in someone’s story, so if any of us could unleash these on someone we didn’t like, I will be right to think the world would be chaotic, and we probably wouldn’t get anything done.

Let me know in the comment section if you are as petty as you can get or the bigger person.

Cheers 🥂